Everything is Different!

Like night and day.

This morning at first we were so worn down from the difficulty of yesterday.  We were wondering how we would continue on this way.

She woke up a tiny bit fussy, but then fell back asleep on me and didn't wake up until like 9!  We finally had to wake her, because our appointments started at 9:30.  She woke gradually, and from that moment on, we could see she is less anxious with us already.  

Here are some awesome things that happened.  I can't worry about grammar, because I'm tired!  Time for a list!

-says Mama a lot and I think she whispered daddy twice 

-sleep is much deeper and heavier because she's less stressed (crying is way easier to soothe to fall asleep)

-says "Yea" on occasion when we ask her if she wants something (apparently I use that a lot)

-she smiled several times today!!  

-shakes her head if she doesn't want something

-enjoyed a bath and repeated the word "cup"

-looked at iPad for a while and then decided finally to interact with it and played a game

-she loved to flip through kyles old pictures on his phone

-said and waved bye bye a couple of times

-played a little with cars

-enjoyed some authentic congee and rice that we could tell she had been missing!

-drank her formula much better twice today 

-said Willow!

We are beginning to learn to communicate with each other.  I can kind of tell what differentiates her sleepy versus mad versus sad versus hurt cries.

 

She's still afraid a lot of the time.  She still crawls up on me frantically and hasn't gotten down to play yet.  I can't wait to see that happen!  However I'm appreciative that she is courageous and brave enough to allow us to connect and bring comfort to her.  Many kids have a hard time with that, and even though the crying was intense yesterday, she's wanting to connect.  That is huge!  We will be patient!

I can hold the bottle myself today...

Kyle reached into his pocket for his phone and found a hard boiled egg from his breakfast run.  Hahaha!

Random appointment for paperwork:

Medical exam:

Funny decor that was supposed to look western I think.  Yes, Santa was on every door in that wing of the hospital!

This doctor was soft spoken with Willow and very sweet.  She still screamed, but it was better than it could've been.

Yummy lunch where she grinned a ton at Kyle and suddenly acted like a toddler!  She was banging everything around, wanting it all at once, and I was thinking, "Where did the helpless baby go?!"  :)

Hard Day 2!

So hard.  Hardest thing we've done in our lives.

We couldn't have anticipated how difficult this would be.  I might be short on words but appreciate prayers for endurance.  I don't know how we can possibly do all of these things on our agenda, much less the plane ride back.  

Willow is so sad and cries all of the time.  (We just started calling her a Willow Mei Fen.  At first, we had called her only by her chinese name Mei Fen.) She has to be on my person at all times, night or day.  She hasn't smiled since that first day in the supermarket with Kyle.  We know she is grieving deeply her many losses in life, and I know I should be happy that she's showing her feelings.  

She wants me at all times, but then it seems I'm not able to bring her comfort.  She climbs up my body and arches her back away while kicking.  Once we tried putting her in a stroller, and she screamed and lashed out.  We are trying to do what is recommended, which is to basically just be there and comfort her, allowing her to be in charge of what she needs.  Our agenda/methods will come in time, but she's truly so anxious and traumatized that it would do no good now.  Maybe this is the first time someone has responded to her crying this much and so she's letting it all out?  We don't know enough about her yet to know.

Even the second bath time yesterday was unsuccessful, and she had loved it earlier in the day!  We think she may also be teething, so we are trying to give her stuff for that.  Wish we also had orajel.  She likes a hard pat on the back!!

Basically, I just wanted to be real with y'all and share how difficult this process is in a different country away from our loving support.  We are strengthened and enabled only by the grace of God.  Your prayers hold us up.  We can feel them!  Please continue to pray for physical strength and for Willow to start to play with us and relax into her family that loves her unconditionally.  

Whew!

Crazy sleeper...Kicks and moves all over!

Yesterday she was in the best mood in the morning...

On our way out of the door for the first time...

Breakfast was a blast!  She ate bananas, pear, dim sum, crackers, of course puffs, and eggs.  She liked the noisy environment, too!  

She liked one bath time.

(Side note: the only time we've seen her stand was when she stood and raised her arms for Kyle to get her out of the bathtub.  Awesome moment.  And I got to shower!)

We went with Grace to the Civil Affairs Office again to be interviewed twice and have pictures taken.  We promised of course that we will never abandon or abuse our daughter!  Signed more papers.  Willow fell asleep for a little bit there.

Our awesome guide let us wait in this play room instead of upstairs in the hot, small waiting room with a million other families.  Grace rocks!!

First stinky diaper change in the middle of Civil Affairs Office!  We laid out our gear and changed her on that red couch by Kyle.  :)

Don't we all feel this way after nap time?

We love our girl!!  Forgot to say that Kyle is the most amazing husband in the world, taking great care of me when I feel like I can't easily take care of myself.  

A little more info while she sleeps...

The day had been so very long.  Minutes clicked away slower than ever before.  

We got a call that she'd be about an hour and a half later than what we expected. She had flown in around 9:00 from Luoyang, and they wanted to bathe her and get her 'ready' to meet us.  So, she screamed upon meeting the nanny from her original orphanage, and then got used to her.  Four hours later, we arrived!

We signed paperwork and got all of our items situated.  Our guide, Grace, is very helpful.  She's been doing this job for eight years.

Suddenly there she was.  She took my breath away!  The moment of meeting her was so incredible even though she was scared of us and cried.  I don't blame her!  It felt like a significant moment.  She got hot, so the cool wipes on her face soothed her.  Kyle blew some bubbles and, she liked that!  She's so incredibly brave to let us comfort her even a little bit.  How scary to open your heart again to someone new.  We learned quickly to give her space so that she didn't feel pressure!  It was so cute though, because she'd sneak peeks at me and then quickly look away like she never tried looking.  She liked looking at Kyle, but she was scared to be held by him.  She has probably not been around men, as the nannies are all women.  We tried being nonchalant like we were looking at other stuff, and that was when she was the most calm.  No pressure on me, please!!

She calmed pretty easily at the adoption center, and we got in and out of there quickly!  That is a good thing, because there are a lot of scared and crying babies in there which increased her anxiety.  Our guide and driver took us to a supermarket.  It was very overwhelming to us, but we just kept following our guide.  There were different levels, SO many things, and escalators!  She wasn't sure about the escalator.  She's not been many places, so this was an adventure!  She was pretty silent during the whole trip, and my arms felt like they'd fall off!  It was also very hot in there.  The people were so kind.

After getting allllll of the items we could possibly need, we went with our guide back to the hotel room and had to sign a million more papers.  Kyle took notes and translated info about her routine with the guide.  He also prepped her bottle.  I was so ready for our guide to leave at that point even though she's so helpful.  I just wanted to be alone as a family.  She took a bottle and then got sleepy.  When she was sleepy, she also seemed terrified.  She would only sleep on me, and she would wake herself with a little scared cry every once in a while.  

We got to Skype both of our parents which was awesome but hard.  She was exhausted at that point and hearing all of the English was frightening.  It was so amazing to share the moment though.  We love you guys!  That was unforgettable!

We ordered some pizza, and we finally had her asleep on the bed at 9:00, but my arm was stuck under her!  I decided just to eat the pizza laying down.  Eventually my arm got free, and then Kyle soothed her back to sleep with pats.  

It's 2:40 AM now, and we both woke up just to stare at her for a while.  

She's sleeping so soundly right in the middle of us.  I need to go back to sleep, but I wanted to remember the details of this beautiful, monumental day in our lives.  

Waiting with a red bean green tea frappuccino:

A few before pics:

Outfit she came to us in:

WE ARE TOGETHER!!

She is more amazing than we ever could have anticipated.  She's also heart broken, very scared, and confused.  She flew here with a current nanny, and they transitioned her to a nanny from her original orphanage.  Then after about four hours with her, we came into the picture!  

Even through her sad tears, we just had the most incredible moment of our lives.  We were floored by her and stunned at how wonderfully God made her.  We felt an incredibly full love, and I was crazy calm.  Kyle got her to smile once, but other than that, she is so scared.  She's very expressive and loves to be held.  Holding her as she sleeps carefully now, so let me post pictures which is what y'all want anyway!

Just kidding... One more post...

We are a bit excited today.  On our way to breakfast, the last time it's just the two of us!  There were several other adoptive families at the breakfast, which was fun to see.   :) 

We took a walk this morning after a fantastic breakfast spread.  Let me tell you about this humidity.  You step one foot outside and it slams you in the face! The pretty fans and umbrellas are not for nothing.  It was just a quick walk under the subway tunnel (no a/c!) to get to an exercise park.

Look... a 7/11!

Nobody runs here (probably can't because of weather), but there were lots of walkers in the park.  We got lots of stares.  We also saw some women doing tai chi in the park.  The men raise their tshirts half way up often to cool down.  Looks comfortable to me!  

Here's a look at our awesome hotel from the park across the street.  See the chaotic traffic? 

On our way back, we went to the 12th floor of a building we thought was our hotel.  We should've known when there was no A/C in the elevator!  It was an office building, and we saw several people working in tiny cubicles.  Too funny!

We came to the room for a quick break, and Les Mis was on tv.  It was right on the scene where he sings to Cozette in the car.  Sweetest picture of adoption... Teary eyed moment.

Gift from the hotel staff:

How in the world is it only 9:51 AM?  This day is just inching by.  Can't wait for approximately 3:00 when our lives will be profoundly changed for the better!

In Guangzhou

Today was our last day of travel before meeting our daughter.  

It all started with a taxi ride to the train station...

Yes, it drove on the wrong side of the road.  Our taxi driver tried to point things out for us.  The import/export seaport was amazing to see!

We got all excited at the train station, because we thought we found great quality perfume for like $10.  Right before buying it, we realized it was actually $100.  Ha!  Close call.

Kyle is currently carrying three different kinds of money (US dollars, HK dollars, and RMB) in his wallet... It's like a party in there, so colorful!

Kyle walked off to buy train tickets...

The train from Hong Kong to Guangzhou was very pleasant.  We liked seeing Guangzhou fly by!  

We met our guide (who goes by Grace) immediately upon arrival, and she took control a little bit which we were glad for.  She showed us all around our hotel (good places to shop or eat, etc.).  She also gave us an updated agenda for our two weeks here.

We meet our daughter at about 3:00pm tomorrow!  Jet lag has been a big struggle today, so we are hopeful that we will feel much better tomorrow.  Eating dinner at a local Cantonese style restaurant helped!

The next update tomorrow at some point will be the BIG important one.  Lord, please be our guide, our help, and our strength.  We trust in Your divine plan!

Like my dad reminded me - His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches us.

Hong Kong - We arrived!

We are jet lagged, happy, and here!  We are going to stay up one more hour if we can (it's 7:00pm here).  

So glad we are not in this place anymore.  I think it'll be more fun on the plane with Willow!  Hoping that at least, because we have no other option!