Reflecting on Life

It's easy to get crippled with anxiety in the culture of our world today.  I know sometimes I do.  It's hard to always have faith and believe that God is sovereign in the midst of suffering or sadness.

Scripture encourages us to taste and see that the Lord is good.  It tells us to just try Him out.  When we took a step to adopt, we were in a very sad place.  We went through a heartbreaking miscarriage after a season of infertility treatments.  To anyone who has wanted something in life so badly that they've not been given by no fault of their own or anyone else, you understand this.  You understand the sleepless nights, the comments from others that I misconstrued out of bitterness, and the relational problems that pop up when people don't feel content.  

I'm so glad we were so sad.

Without that struggle, without that immense sadness to the point of hopelessness at times, our lives would be void of this incredible blessing.

God knew what heartache it would take for us to be moved to take action in the direction of our daughter.  

I can't even imagine where we would be, and I don't want to imagine it.  Our transition as a family has been miraculous to be a part of.  I never could have fathomed the beauty and the pure love that comes from loss, both hers and ours.

There is purpose!  The Bible says to take heart and to have faith!  Read the book of James if you're in a particularly difficult season.  I pray that you press on.

Most of all, I just encourage people to go where He sends you.  Investigate and open your heart to things you never even imagined or considered before.  Your life might just explode with blessings that you couldn't have imagined.  It has for my incredible husband and I in the last four months.  Don't hesitate, and don't look back!  If you feel stuck somehow, move!  Let God reveal to you His sovereignty and power, and maybe one day you'll see how He was shaping you all along.  

(I don't post preachy things often, but I just felt so compelled to express our loss that has been completely redeemed by God.  Praying that anyone who stumbles across this blog will be encouraged to trust in the Lord wholeheartedly.)

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.  Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." 

Matthew 5:3-10 ESV

The Hospital & the Zoo

On September 23rd, Willow had to go to Children's for a diagnostic cardiac cath.  It's like an intense x-ray.  It's incredible what they can do; they went all the way to her heart with a scope through arteries from her neck and her leg.  She stayed under a little longer than expected and ended up having to spend the night due to a collateral that they had to coil.  Let's just say none of us slept much, but we gained great appreciation for the kind and talented nurses and doctors.  The most difficult time was right after the cath when she had to have 'flat time' to prevent clotting. Willow hates being made to lay on her back and just wants us to stand up and hold her like normal.  It was hard to not do what comforts her since she couldn't understand why it wasn't a good idea.  They ended up wheeling her to her final room laying on me on the bed since she finally had calmed down.  That was a fun ride!

Ugh, the wait...

Kyle was excited because her oxygen was looking good here...

Finally a little happier, but she still wants me to stand up...

We were so grateful she fell asleep for the last hour of her flat time.  The blanket tuck helped her feel like she was on her stomach!

The next morning Willow was in good spirits.  We looked at the train and then were so ready to get home!  

Getting outta there!  We look how we feel!

There was bruising but basically no other recovery.  So we took it easy a few days, and then that Saturday we went to the zoo for the first time!  

The first animals we saw were gorillas, and Willow thought they were really cool. Then we saw the zebras, and Willow was so very excited that she shrieked loudly twice!  It was the best thing ever to see her so happy and thrilled. She was happy to see all of the animals after that as well, and she kept saying 'more'.  The only thing we skipped was the train.  Here are my favorite memories!

Gorillas...

The zebras were prancing and eating grass; they were so cute.  They kept shaking their heads like dogs as well!

They are my favorite!  Willow has figured that out through books and things at home!

There was one African and three Asian elephants.  Willow liked how they brought the grass to their mouths with their trunks.

Kyle asked if she wanted to stand by the glass window on the other side of this wall, and Willow said 'No!'  She has kind of big, scared eyes here. Our normally fearless girl did not want to get too close!

We loved seeing the orange tigers, because they roamed around and came very close before laying down to nap.

Merry-go-round... She preferred the bench!

Feeding birds with her daddy...

Last but not least, on the third our little love turned...