About 8 more weeks...

We got our hard copy of the Letter of Seeking Confirmation, and we were able to send stuff off as well as start our visa applications!  It's been wonderful to have movement in the process.  We hope to travel in May, but it could also be June depending on how paperwork goes.

Either way, it will happen.  She will come home, and we will finally be together as a family!  God, we are overwhelmed with how wonderful your plan for us turned out.  Thank you, Lord, for our precious daughter!  

Kyle and I loved getting a chance to send our daughter a care package!  We couldn't include much, but we sent:

-a small ball

-a lovey stuffed dog

-pictures of us

-dum dums for all of the kids at the care center

-a card

-a personalized book introducing Willow to her family

If you are waiting for something like us, I hope our story brings your heart encouragement today.  Who knows what is right around the corner for you?  

"Have you not known?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable."

Isaiah 40:28

Every Life Matters

Lately, whenever I have a minute to be still, there are some thoughts flying around in my head.  I keep thinking about what the 'old me' would have thought upon hearing our adoption story.  I would have thought it was cool, but I also would've thought, "Well, good for them, but if it hadn't been this little girl, it would've been someone else."  I know that is a very obvious statement.  

Anyway, I keep mulling over that.  I want to say that the love we have for her is personal and unique, and He has woven this story of our family together.  I would never say to someone that if they didn't get to keep their child (for some reason), there would always be another around the corner.  So, why is it tempting to think that way when someone adopts?  It was for me, before adoption.

I don't think that way anymore.  This has taught me more about how much each life is worth.  There is inherent, God-given value in her life, in your life, and in mine.  Each of us is a child of God, a treasure, and worthy of love and a family.  We are each irreplacable.  

"But even the hairs of your head are all numbered."

Matthew 10:30

Okay, now for a big moment...

I finally get to 'introduce' our daughter via the internet!  We got the Letter of Acceptance today (the day after our 7th anniversary)!  Everything else is stateside, and our best guess is that we will travel 8-10 weeks from today.  

It is really happening, people.  :)  

This is the first picture we saw of Willow Mei back in December.  She is about 11 months in this one:

We got our update very soon after sending a letter of intent.  Here she was in late December 2013:

FAMILY!

Happy 19 months, Willow!

We love you so much, baby girl!  XOXO!

I wrote for a CHD blog...

www.28daysofhearts.blogspot.com

Our story has just begun.

I sit right now on the floor of her tiny room, looking at book shelves, her crib, and a giant world map on her wall. Kyle has tools out and is installing a dimmer light switch for her. The waiting has become fairly agonizing.

We press on even though often I feel like screaming things like, "Who cares about a dimmer light switch?!" The next minute I'm begging Kyle to install it. It's strange the things waiting with no sense of control can do to you.

Kyle and I first talked about adopting when we were engaged. We waited a long time, however, to take the first step. When we finally took that leap of faith, God began to clearly show us this was the path we were to take. Every door we walked through (picking an agency, learning about different types of adoption, going to a conference, talking to people who had adopted) seemed to fly open and lead us to the next thing. It was an exciting time, and we are blessed to have experienced encouragement and confirmation everywhere we turned at that time.

Everyone who adopts knows about the special needs checklist. This was a dreaded thing. We tried to fill it out together one night and argued. We put it off while doing other paperwork for a while. Finally, it was one of the last things we had to fill out, and we tackled it again after much prayer. Kyle was open to heart conditions, and I was hesitant about them. I was hoping for a need that was less scary to me.

Kyle got us tickets to go see Steven Curtis Chapman in concert in September of 2013. We were so excited, because we knew about his advocacy for orphans in China through Show Hope. After enjoying ourselves completely, we bought several CDs and a book for our soon to be child. I journaled about the concert, and we became pretty obsessed with his newest CD, "The Glorious Unfolding." I called it our adoption anthem, and we literally listened to it all of the time. We also decided to apply for a grant from Show Hope.

We got a call on an ice day (off of work and stuck at home) in December from our adoption agency. We had only been 'logged in' for two days. Our sweet social worker proceeded to tell us that they had a referral for us, and it was a little girl of about 16 months. She explained that her heart condition was more severe than we had indicated being open to. She asked if we would like to view her file, and with a rush of adrenaline and joy, we were saying, "Yes, yes, yes!"

We opened the file, reveled in discovering our daughter, and delighted in the beauty of God transforming our lives in an instant. We had as long as we needed to review her file, because the referral was through a one-to-one partnership between our agency and her orphanage in Guangzhou. So, we waited for over a week for the cardiologist to get back to us about her condition. I remember a lot of happiness and giddiness during that week and a half. At the same time, I kept trying to suppress it, because we were supposed to hold her 'lightly'. I prayed for signs, which was an unusual prayer for a pragmatic person like me.

The day came for us to consult with the doctors. It wasn't the news we had hoped to hear. We were hoping they'd say, "It's not as bad as it seems; she will be fine once she gets here." Instead we learned that hers is a condition that will probably require multiple surgeries and lifelong care. Willow has transposition of great arteries, ASD, VSD, PDA, and pulmonary atresia....?

After we hung up, Kyle began to get emotional, because we were really invested in her at this point. I was emotional as well, but I suddenly started grinning. He was a little bit thrown by that. I explained that as I watched him cry and heard the details of her condition, I felt like a mom. I looked at him and saw her dad. It was so clear to both of us that we were her parents.

We began revealing to all about our baby girl, starting with our families at Christmas celebrations! This was a blast! We made wonderful memories. My mom realized that her first birthday was the same day we had a fundraising garage sale in which tons of family and friends showed us lots of love. That was a little gift from God for us to discover. In January, we got our update on Willow with six pictures. She had four teeth! We had always been a little bit confused about how she had received her first heart surgery (in April of 2013). Who had provided this for her? Kyle saw some keyhole shaped doorways behind her in these new photos that looked familiar. He went to Show Hope's website and as we sat on the phone with each other from our prospective workplaces, we realized that Willow was being cared for by the incredible volunteers of Show Hope! This was a goosebumps moment. She had been moved there at about 8 months of age, right before her surgery. Kyle found an old blog entry asking for prayer for her when she was about 11 months, right after her surgery.

I don't know; it may have not seemed very incredible to other people. However, God blew us away with this discovery. We were flying so high! I had prayed for signs. Our 'adoption anthem' was sung by the man who started the organization that saved our daughter's life. How very strange and incredible. Of all of the Christian singers we could have relied on throughout the adoption process, we chose to listen to him. And of all of the beautiful and innocent Chinese orphans needing help, they had helped her. Show Hope and her birthplace were even about 800 miles away from each other! We don't know the details surrounding how Show Hope found out about Willow and what made them decide to save her life, but we're just so glad they did.

Willow is now almost 19 months old, and we pray for her several times each day. We never really stop thinking about her no matter what we are doing. A part of our hearts is half a world away from us at this time. To those who have held a referral picture in their hands while hoping papers were not stuck under a pile on a desk somewhere, I know you understand. It is very possible to miss someone you have not yet met.

We know that she is our child. We love her unconditionally and without reservation. We constantly prepare, read, and learn about adoption and heart conditions, because she motivates us to do so.

I told several students at my elementary school about our adoption. I think it might be as simple as a little fourth grade boy articulated to me. I explained to them that she did not have a mom or a dad to take care of her, and we wanted a baby. He said happily, "It's a win/win!"

No matter what may come, we are very in love with our daughter. God knows the number of days she will be on this earth, and we will soak up every single one He gives us with her. We have no idea of the trials that are to come, but we know we have within us the eternal source of strength, wisdom, and comfort to face any hard days. At the end of the day, she's just a little girl in need of parents, and we are parents in need of a child. Like any other parent loves a child who happens to have a physical difficulty, we just love her.

Your prayers for us would mean so much. We hope to travel in May of this year. Our story has just barely begun!

Music video: http://youtu.be/G2HyzEQBplc

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:24-25

May God bless all of these precious heart babies, and may He continue to show doctors miraculous ways to save and enrich their lives.

Out of Translation

Oh happy day!

Our documents in China are officially out of translation as of today.  Hip hip hooray!  

Onto the next steps.  Thank you to those who are praying us through this waiting process.  We can feel those prayers!

From a sweet kid at work...

From Kyle - God's Provision for our Daughter

When I was around 10 years old, the very first CD that I remember owning was a Steven Curtis Chapman CD given to me by my parents (The Great Adventure).  I have always been a fan of his music, and we became familiar with his nonprofit organization Show Hope when our social worker provided us with a few resources for possible grants during our home study back in April.  

 

Amber and I attended the Steven Curtis Chapman concert on 9/27/13 when he came to Dallas/Fort Worth.  We heard wonderful stories about the work Show Hope was doing in China and all about Maria's Big House of Hope, Show Hope's special care center for orphans in Luoyang that saves lives by providing medical care and procedures.  We bought a "Shaoey and Dot Adoption Story" book that night to read to our future child along with a "Glorious Unfolding" CD for ourselves.  Steven Curtis Chapman has adopted three children from China himself, and his story and latest CD have encouraged us greatly over the past few months as we wait.  Amber has been calling "The Glorious Unfolding" our adoption anthem for a couple of months now.

Over the past year, we have prayed fervently that our child would be receiving excellent, loving care wherever they were, and hearing stories that night about the amazing place that Maria's Big House of Hope is reminded us to pray even more.  Amber has been keeping a journal with prayers and letters to our child throughout this waiting time and wrote an entry about Show Hope and Maria's Big House of Hope the night of the concert.

 

After accepting our referral for Willow on 12/17/13, we requested an update from China.  In the updates, the Chinese government will answer additional questions you or your doctors have and will take updated pictures to send to you as well.  We were especially looking forward to receiving new pictures because the two that we had were from about five months prior.

 

We were so excited to receive the update from our adoption agency on 1/9/14 with six additional pictures of Willow looking so much older with four teeth!  The first referral file wasn't clear as to where she was beyond July 2013 so as Amber and I were going through the update together on the phone from our respective workplaces, we began to piece together that she was still in Luoyang.  Suddenly I remembered seeing those unique "key hole" doorways at Maria's Big House of Hope which were similar to the ones in the recent pictures we received.  I quickly went to the Show Hope website and found a picture of her that confirmed our hopes!   We burst into tears over the phone together as we realized she was being loved, nurtured, and cared for, and that people we didn't know were praying for us, her forever family, even as we prayed for her.

 

The odds of Willow being in Maria's Big House of Hope are beyond comprehension!  Out of the unknown number of orphans in China, Maria's Big House of Hope only has room for 140.  Also, our daughter was born and spent the first eight months of her life nearly 1000 miles away from it.  It is truly a miracle to learn that God heard our prayers and was working His plan in our lives before we were even matched.  What a confirmation of God's perfect plan for our family! 

 

Who else but God could weave such a perfect story or could create the love that we have for our little girl?

Maria's Big House of Hope:

"The Glorious Unfolding" music video:

http://youtu.be/G2HyzEQBplc

Overwhelmed by God's goodness

Well.  Where to begin?

During the 'ice days' in December, we received a very special phone call from our adoption agency.  Our sweet social worker left us a voicemail, and we looked at each other with wide eyes and excitement, because we knew what was supposed to be next in the process - a referral!

We called back, and had her on speaker phone.  She said, "I have a referral for you.  It's a little girl.  She's 16 months old."  Kyle and I kept just looking at each other while listening, and our hearts were melting!  I remember my whole body shaking!

Of course, there is so much that goes into the adoption process, so they recommended that we 'hold her lightly' while reviewing the file and acquiring information about her medical situation.  That is next to impossible, FYI.  :)

We took a home video of ourselves opening up the attachment and learning about her for the first time.  Outside the world was shut down as it was frozen solid.  And we were 'stuck' inside discovering a joy we had never before known!  It was such a beautiful time in our lives.

The rest of that evening was so joyful.  We couldn't stop grinning.  We watched a movie called Facing the Giants and sat by the fire.  For the next few days we were cut off from the rest of our world due to the ice, and it was such incredibly sweet timing.  We treasured her in our hearts from the minute we heard, "It's a little girl."

Also, I read in my Piper app that very night a Christmas devotional that reminded me of how she might have been found and gave me peace for wanting God to gives us signs.  The scripture was Luke 2:12-14.  It says...

"And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

Here we are that day...

Over the course of the next two weeks, we waited for a full medical evaluation (or as much as you can understand through translated paperwork).  We prayed every day, and we asked for guidance.  In my heart I knew I loved her and so desperately wanted undeniable signs.  It was a difficult two weeks because of the feeling of being in limbo and also because we knew she had some heart defects.

When we spoke to the doctors, we felt more like parents than ever before.  I felt a 'mommy love' that was undeniable, and Kyle talked about how she has been fighting alone and how he wanted us to fight with her.  We were reminded by a card from a student in our youth at church that God would be our guide.  With happy hearts and great excitement, we informed our agency that she was our girl and we wanted to pursue adoption!  Immediately, the fears and the worries dissipated as we took that step of trusting God.  

We planned a fun time of telling our families at our Christmas celebrations!  I could not believe we got to do this!  It had been a desire of my heart that we would have a face and information to celebrate before Christmas time.  I never thought we would get to, though, because it took forever for our paperwork to get logged in.  We were only logged in for two days when we got this referral call!  We wrapped pink tissue paper and a balloon in a big box, and we had both of our families open it as a 'Christmas Eve gift'.  Her framed referral picture was wrapped at the bottom of the box.  What incredible memories we made as all of her grandparents teared up and her aunts and uncles celebrated with joy!  

My mom recently texted me and said, "Amber, did you realize that the day you had that big garage sale as a fundraiser for your baby was her birthday?!"  I looked on my calendar, and, sure enough, while we were experiencing love and support in celebrating bringing our baby home, she was turning 1!  

Our little girl was born August 3rd, 2012, and we are naming her Willow Mei Robinson.  Her Chinese name was Mei Fen, and we adore it.  (I had even added Chinese names to my baby name app, and Mei was one of the five names that I put on there for a girl.)

(I've loved this name for about four years, but surprisingly it was Kyle who became convinced she was Willow after seeing her!  She's named in honor of Kyle's brother, his granddad, my dad, and my grandfather.  They are all named Will, William, or Willard!)

I wish I could post a picture, but that isn't allowed at this time, and I know you understand.  Adoption is a very purposeful and cautious adventure.  Just know that she's absolutely precious, she's a miracle, and she has stolen our hearts!

There is already so much more to the story.  Kyle is going to make his blogging debut in a couple of days to explain how we have seen God's power and His hand in every detail since saying, "She's ours!  Send them the letter of intent!"