14 days until travel

"See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone."

(1 Thessalonians 5:15 ESV)

Time to Celebrate!

Jumping up and down for joy DID happen today!

(We decided we needed some red flowers to commemorate the occasion.)

Let Love Grow - Attachment and Bonding

"And my head told my heart let love grow..."

I keep thinking about the Mumford and Sons song that says this line, because I don't see our relationship with Willow being instantaneous like many imagine it would be.  It's a process; love is a verb.  We are going to work so hard to prove our love to our daughter so that she can begin to grow a little bit of trust for us in return.

Imagine for a moment that you were in her shoes.  Everything she has known so far in life is about to change at 22 months old.  Any nannies she prefers will be gone, the crib she sleeps in, the friends she plays with, the food she eats, and even the sounds and smells of her home country.  We wouldn't pursue this adoption if we didn't have certainty that this time of trials will be worth a long term gain for her.  But doesn't that sound so hard?!  We are talking about culture shock on top of the life change of meeting her forever family!

We are embarking on this journey prepared for anything!  This adventure has been unpredictably beautiful so far, and I anticipate it will continue to be that way.  However, we have some expectations and plans as to how to weave our daughters life into ours as we become a family of three.  Our plans come from the current literature on brain development and attachment.  

Some Info...

There are two types of attachment problems that can interfere with bonding in the family.  Let me explain:

Reactive Attachment Disorder

1. Inhibited Type - persistent failure to initiate and respond to most social interactions in a developmentally appropriate way 

2. Disinhibited Type - indiscriminate sociability or a lack of selectivity in the choice of attachment figures

When kids come from hard circumstances like our little miracle, a child can turn into him/herself and refuse to connect with the outside world, OR they can basically indiscriminately feel that everyone is "Mama/Daddy".  Imagine a kid stroking a stranger's face and saying 'I love you' to the grocery store clerk.  Both of the attachment problems mentioned above are concerning, and we are going to do all that we can to prevent them and to open our daughter's heart to the love of family.

In addition to playing peekaboo and a variety of fun, connecting games with Willow (that every parent already naturally does), we will be 'cocooning' at home for a while.  It is recommended to do this for about 6-8 weeks at the least.  

This means we aren't going to get out much!  And we are going to be the ones meeting her needs every single time.  So Kyle and I will be the ones to always feed her, change her, or put her to sleep.  We will primarily be holding her.  We look forward to the help of family and friends after the recommended 8 weeks has gone by and we feel she's becoming attached.  Of course, we will follow her lead and her temperament in our efforts as well.

Everyone in our network of amazing people who love Willow already 'get' this.  We are thoroughly blessed with wise and wonderful people in our lives who are willing to do what is best for our family.   Thank you, family and friends, for understanding the significance and the critical period this time is in Willow's life.  It is different than adopting an infant.  Her little almost 2-year-old brain will need to learn gradually to trust us, as she's had some difficult losses and experiences so far in her short life.  It won't last forever, and then she'll be so ready to play with everyone!  What we do today affects her future ability to have healthy relationships, and we are putting 110% of effort into doing this well in a way that honors God. 

New dates and a happy baby

March 25 - We sent our I800 to USCIS.  We had a little delay that was extremely hard to accept.  However...

April 23 - We were thrilled to find out that we were issued I800 provisional approval!

May 1 - We were issued a needed PDF from the National Visa Center.  We should have Article 5 paperwork ready on May 19th.  Then all we lack is travel approval!

Whew.  Patience is so hard but worth it.  Willow Mei, we are almost there!  We pray for you every single day many times in the day, and we love you more with every passing moment!

May 13 - 

We got an official update today on our 21 month old!  Look at this precious child.  They said she likes eggs, bananas, and biscuits.  She is outgoing and gets along with the other kids.  Her health has been great.  She can walk and run, and she follows directions. She can be impatient.  She likes toys with wheels, and she sleeps 'stale'? at night with a two hour nap during the day.

To top off this incredible day of getting the update, we met with all of Willow's doctors at Children's and the International Adoption Clinic.  We cannot believe how much support she will have once she's home.  They were all so warm.  We even made her first cardiology appointment... It made everything so real!

Now the trick is waiting about one more month.  How will I remain sane?  

Friends Make Life Better

Sweet and timely devotional our great friend in D.C. wrote that gave us courage for this hard part of the wait...

http://www.burkecommunity.com/worship/devotional/

My best friend and his wife are about to board a plane to Hong Kong, China where they will, for the very first time, be introduced to their adopted daughter, Willow Mei.  This road has been windy and rocky, containing five years of struggle and pain.  Yet, now that we see where it has led, to this beautiful, smiling toddler, it’s hard to deny God’s hand behind the entire process.  

As Ashley and I have walked this road with them, one scene has replayed in my head what seems like a thousand times.  I catch myself dreaming of this moment and weeping over its beauty(though, I do understand that this scenario is unrealistic).  Here’smy dream.

Kyle and Amber have travelled halfway across the world andhave finally arrived to the little orphanage in Luoyang, China.  They are nervous, excited, and ready.  I see Kyle opening a door to see sweet Willow arms crossed, waiting patiently for her parents.  The moment she lays eyes on Kyle, she runs to him, wraps her little arms around his neck, and whispers in his ear “daddy.”  

Can you even fathom the feeling a moment like that would bring?  I consider myself to basically be an emotion-less dude, but man, that picture and its soon reality causes me to cry.    

This scene replayed in my head the other morning when I was reading Romans 8:15-17.

 

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him

 

We sometimes get so tangled in theological titles that we forget one of the most simple and beautiful pictures of God.  He is our dad and we are his children.  He has adopted us and given us the opportunity to call him “Dad!”  Soon, Willow Mei will take our friends’ last names and with that name, she will have all the benefits of being in that family.  Likewise, God has adopted us and given us a new name.  With this name we have become royal—loved by the King and heirs to an unimaginable inheritance.      

 

In light of this reality, we should respond in two ways.  First, we should allow the beauty of our adoption to propel our love for theFather and dispel our attraction to our former ways.  Don’t be deceived.  Your self-driven ways are dead end ways that will lead to utter disappointment.  Second, spend some time talking to God like he is your Dad.  If our hearts beat faster when we are embraced as “mom and dad,” imagine what God feels.  Lose the superlatives and just talk to him about life.  If you are scared, tell him.  If you are sad, cry.  Wherever you are, address him as your dad, and lethim take care of you.      

We could use your prayers!

We have a paperwork delay that was unexpected and is extremely frustrating.  

Please pray with us that God will move mountains to quickly move things through the rest of the steps and get us to our little girl!

To learn more about international adoption and the Hague, watch Stuck, a documentary on Netflix.  It's very informative!

It's Raining Toys and Diapers! Our Showers for Willow...

First we had a sweet shower with all of my family friends from childhood and precious people from First Baptist Irving.  We were blown away by kindness and well wishes for our daughter.  We even had people come from out of town.  Thank you to all of my incredible childhood friends/family that are an enormous source of joy in my life.

Side note: 

This next picture was not actually at a shower, but it's very special.  My aunt had two quilt tops from her father's mother's house in Emery, TX.  Judy (a kind lady I go to church with) offered to work with us on finishing out the quilts.  They are both beautiful!  We had such a fun time making memories together.  I adore my family!

Our second shower was at my fantastic, one-of-a-kind elementary school.  The Glenhope Gators really blessed us with anything else we could possibly need!  The people I work with are so loving and kind, and they always want to know the latest on our adoption.  Of course I'm happy to talk about it anytime people ask!  :)

Last but not least, we had a wonderful time with our life group at church as they threw us a toy shower (including delicious Chinese food) for Willow one Sunday night.  Let me just say that I cannot wait to play with these things with her.  Not only do you bless us with deep and meaningful friendships and encouragement in Christ, but you also buy our daughter Fisher Price, Dr. Seuss, and things of that nature.  ;)  Amazing!

 

(Tim Rost claims that says Welcome Willow!)

And so the nesting continues!  Her (very small) room is pretty much done at this point.  I have a few more finishing touches, and then I'll share a picture of that.  

Now we're just missing one extremely important family member....and the reason why our hearts have expanded more than we could've ever imagined.  

"But they who wait for The Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

-Isaiah 40:31

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."

-Hebrews 11:6

We are clinging to our faith in God and in His timing for this thing!

Update as of 5/21/14...

Today my favorite counselors ever (elementary school counselors in GCISD) spoiled me!  I just had to share these three pics from people I adore and respect so much.  Thank you, friends, for always being there for me and for sharing in our joy.